Memories

Waves of grief washed over me all day today for a number of reasons, I think. Yesterday for Mother's Day, my brother Lee drove my sister Debbie, me, and his family out to the Katy Cemetery to visit our mother's grave. We all still miss her often, and it was good to think of the possibility of being close to her for a little while yesterday. Then today dawned--an anniversary of a kind, too. I was scheduled to administer the AP Physics exam at my school, a voluntary job I've done for the past seven years. Three years ago, though, I was giving this exam while my husband Ray was having a CT scan. He was given the news that he had Mesothelioma (his death sentence) without me at his side, and I've always felt sad and bad about that. He was so socked with the misfortunate. Both of us were.

So in response to Lindy's call to talk about stress-release in our lives. Over so many years of my life, loss has been a stressor for me. I find it's so easy to shove comfort foods in my mouth to try to ease the voids within. Something that I'm trying right now is singing when I'm feeling this way. I came across an old songbook at an antique store recently. It has songs of faith and joy from the past in it, and instead of eating, I'm singing for 30 minutes. The hunger seems to pass that way.

I also go to Curves to stave off the stressors, but in the last three weeks, because of a hurt shoulder and arm, I've had to stay away from those machines. Maybe that's also why I've had a day like I've had today. I think being around people and talking also is part of the Curves formula for me in reducing stress. Living alone, I don't have anyone to share my day's events with. I often find friends at Curves to visit with while I work out. I've missed it here recently and am glad that I was able to be with my family this weekend for Mother's Day.

I look forward to Lindy connecting me up with some of you B-Hoppers in August. Til then, Linda

Some new features

At the request of LMH, I am adding a new category for posts to this blog. LMH and son participated this weekend in the Susan B. Komen walk for the cure and I am so proud of this mother, son team and their actions to support a cure for breast cancer. Please post pictures from your walk and let us know if this helped shed some additional pounds in the process.

I am also interested in stress reducers. Life has been full of stresses of late, both at work and at home. We are still acclimating our 16 year old to our home, I am finding the demands on me at work have increased of late and M's work is also picking up. Our basement is under remodel, from the intake of water last spring, and we desperately need to put siding on our house and do some serious landscaping. I know that many people get much stress relief from home improvement projects and from gardening, I find neither of them particularly stress relievers or really that enjoyable.

Stress causes me to be careless with what I eat and what I do. Not a good state of mind to be in for the purpose of this blog. But, I will find a focus and find a place to put my thoughts that are happy and productive and relieve some of the stress that I currently feel.

Tomorrow I attend a funeral for a former neighbor of our family growing up. Dolly was one of those women from a generation ago, that defined what it meant to be a neighbor of the 1970's. I have the fondest memories of sitting on the neighbors deck, our mothers in nightgowns and kids in our pajamas, eating popcorn, drinking "zooper doopers" and laughing a lot. Dolly was a part our my childhood, a good friend to my mother and witness to many "incidents" in the life of our family. Thinking about her in a fond way, has already worked a bit of stress from my system.

I had a long talk with Linda last week. She called to check on the wedding plans of M's oldest. Wedding plans have become a source of stress, but Linda's listening ear and understanding response was just what I needed to relieve it for the moment. She's planning to be in Nebraska for the wedding in August, and I can connect her with other B-Hop'rs while she is here.

I am ready to update our spreadsheet. At last count, about two weeks ago, we were at a net loss of 73 lbs - wherever you are, please let me know and I'll update it again. I'm back to where I started and looking for ways to focus and get back on track to lose my 20lbs by August. Ditching some stress along the way is bound to help.

Retirement!!!

I taught my last class at St. Louis Catholic High School a couple of days ago. Half my class was missing because of a State tennis tournament, but those of us who were there shared our hero's journeys through St. Louis and watched and listened to clips of various degrees and kinds of humor. The girls are ready to soar onto their next hero's cycle and see what God has planned for them. Me, too...

One of the things that I have in store is my continuation down the scale. I weighed in this morning and compared my weight with April 1. I lost three pounds in April. That's not as much as I was hoping for, but it IS progress, and that's consoling to me. I know that if I continue to "like what I'm eating," I'll gradually get there. May we all find success in May. I'm looking forward to it. Retirement stretches out before me... Til later, Linda

It's Not a Sprint, It's a Marathon...

A friend of mine used the expression "it's not a sprint, its a marathon" the other day. We were talking about something completely unrelated to exercise but it stuck with me. It made me think about what we are all trying to accomplish here. I think that's why I have been sticking to a routine of adding something into my health and wellness plan every month. I found through the years of trying different things by going full speed ahead it never worked for me. I think the saying goes "it takes 21 days to create a habit". That's pretty much what has been working for me. After I add in another part it eventually becomes such a part of my routine I don't even think about it anymore and then I add another and so on.

Hang in there everyone and just keep trying to see what works for you!

LMH

Second Chance

It happens in a nanosecond for me. I one day wake up, get on the scale, only to see that I am right back where I started. "What happened?", I say to myself, "you've been good, you've been eating better, you've been trying to get exercise whenever you can . . " Recently I was trying to inspire our in-house teenager to want to do better than average in her classes at school. I kept asking her repeatedly if she thought she was working as hard as she could to do all that she was capable of, and I finally saw her stop think and consider the fact that maybe she could do more. Now I have to ask myself that same question - "am I really doing all I can to take charge of my health, weight and eating?" The honest answer is no. So, I am implementing a new B-Hop rule, that is the one where we all get a second, third, fourth chance, whatever we need to keep on track.

I know I am not the only member of this blog who's struggling, which is why we haven't seen a grand total in the last two weeks. I was on vacation, than M was gone, now I am out of town again, so I have a multitude of excuses as to why I haven't "been good" lately. So what now?

For me, I am going to quit "trying" to lose weight, eat better and exercise, and I am going to do it, and when I stumble, I will expect any one of you out there in blog land to nudge, push and prod me to hold myself accountable for my life - my weight, my health and my ability to assist others, especially our daughters and son who need to look to M & I for their inspiration as to how they take responsibility for the outcomes of their lives, especially food choices, opportunities to exercise and knowing when they need to stop.

So, I take my mulligan and I start again. Thanks for being there to keep me honest and focused.

To Be Thin...

Back when I was attending Overeaters Anonymous meetings regularly, somewhere between 1993 and 2003, I found and bought this Mary Englebreit frig magnet and a lightbulb went off for me about how it might apply to my eating. The magnet says, "To Be Happy, Don't do whatever you like, Like whatever you do." I revamped it in my mind to read, "To Be Thin, Don't eat whatever you like, Like whatever you need and have to eat."

It's taken many years, but overall, this is where I am today. Most days, I stick to a regimen of foods that are good for me, ones that will not cause cholesterol or weight gain. Occasionally, like yesterday, I will attend a family gathering and have a piece of cake and a scoop of ice cream, but mostly I "eat whatever I need and have to eat" to be thinner. Over time, it's gotten easier, and I pray that now that I'm working on getting back down to the weight of my 30's that I keep this motto in mind, but also keep things in balance for a happy life. May we all find our road to tackling our own personal situation. I hope you've all had a good week and that the week ahead looks promising. I maintained my weight this week, probably because of that dessert yesterday, but I go forward with hope... Til later, Linda

Vacations: are they bad for your weight loss goals?

I've officially gone back to my "routine" now that our dear ones from Omaha have gone. No physical therapy for a week and a half, and weight loss wasn't on my mind a little bit while cooking for a crowd again.

I braved the scale on Sunday and I'd lost two more pounds which really astounded me. Of course I didn't have a cheese steak sandwich, either.

I've found that eating my major meal early in the day (1-2 PM) and then eating light in the evening is helpful both for weight loss and for my diabetes. And snacking? "Bet you can't eat one" of no matter what it is, so best not to start!