Memories

Waves of grief washed over me all day today for a number of reasons, I think. Yesterday for Mother's Day, my brother Lee drove my sister Debbie, me, and his family out to the Katy Cemetery to visit our mother's grave. We all still miss her often, and it was good to think of the possibility of being close to her for a little while yesterday. Then today dawned--an anniversary of a kind, too. I was scheduled to administer the AP Physics exam at my school, a voluntary job I've done for the past seven years. Three years ago, though, I was giving this exam while my husband Ray was having a CT scan. He was given the news that he had Mesothelioma (his death sentence) without me at his side, and I've always felt sad and bad about that. He was so socked with the misfortunate. Both of us were.

So in response to Lindy's call to talk about stress-release in our lives. Over so many years of my life, loss has been a stressor for me. I find it's so easy to shove comfort foods in my mouth to try to ease the voids within. Something that I'm trying right now is singing when I'm feeling this way. I came across an old songbook at an antique store recently. It has songs of faith and joy from the past in it, and instead of eating, I'm singing for 30 minutes. The hunger seems to pass that way.

I also go to Curves to stave off the stressors, but in the last three weeks, because of a hurt shoulder and arm, I've had to stay away from those machines. Maybe that's also why I've had a day like I've had today. I think being around people and talking also is part of the Curves formula for me in reducing stress. Living alone, I don't have anyone to share my day's events with. I often find friends at Curves to visit with while I work out. I've missed it here recently and am glad that I was able to be with my family this weekend for Mother's Day.

I look forward to Lindy connecting me up with some of you B-Hoppers in August. Til then, Linda